..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
