can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
