My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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