In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
