whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
