I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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