my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
