I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
