Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
