I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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