lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
