I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize