Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
