are you still at the devil's house?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
