His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Two words: nipple clamps
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