i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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