I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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