Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
