Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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