i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
