got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Will exercising make me less horny?
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