I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
