Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
she smelled like a LAN party
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
