You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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