I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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