Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Can I color on your dick again?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
did you just send me my own nude
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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