I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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