Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Randomize