Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
