So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
