At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
