i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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