took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
