I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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