allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
