I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
