I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
