Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
