I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
