it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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