i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
