the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
