i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
