so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
