we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
