yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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