she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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