Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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