just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
