Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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